“I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you”
I lost my dad in July 2020. I was devastated. Never did I think I would lose him so soon. He was such integral part of my life and paragon of unconditional love and humbleness. I’ll never forget when I put my hand on his coffin saying “I don’t know how I’m going to do this without you”.
Losing your loved one
You know exactly what I’m talking about – shattered and overwhelmed by your own grief. Likewise, I deeply relate with what you’re going through – the pain and surrealness of your loss.
I wish I could take away your suffering and ease your grief in an instant, but that’s not how it works. Healing is a process and it takes time. What I can do, is share a little bit from my own process of grief and hopefully provide you with some comfort.
The hole will always be there
Although the hole will always be there, you will learn to live with it. Take one day at a time. Sit with the loss, allow yourself to feel the pain without resistance. Feeling your way through the pain is how you heal. At the same time, be mindful of getting stuck in thoughts replaying the loss and sadness. With this, I don’t mean that you suppress anything but rather to remind you that our hearts heal faster than our thoughts.
Navigating your way through the pain
When you find yourself in a downward spiral of loss, sadness or depression, deliberately focus your attention on something beautiful, something good, something that sparks awe. This will flood you with good feelings – feelings that enhance physical, mental and emotional well-being. I love looking at flowers or anything around me that grabs my attention and ignites wonder. This will help you to have some immediate relief and distraction. Keep practicing it.
As you heal, triggers will come and that’s OK, feel the pain and let the tears role. It’s part of grieving. Over time, things will become more bearable.
Like a physical wound that can’t but heal, your heart is also destined to heal – it just takes time.
Whoever you are, I’m sending you a real tight hug right now. You WILL find a way to move forward. You WILL be OK again, just in a different way! ❤️